Paroxysm
by you're beautiful
Summary: SasuSakuSai. "Break my best friend's heart and I'll break your balls." That's kinda morbid, Sasuke... —COMPLETE


Sasuke's hands were in the process of picking up shattered remnants of her broken heart right now. He was used to it, really.

Once again, Sasuke sighed, looking at the poor girl on the bed, he was left to pick up the pieces. Another one of those clueless assholes broke his best friend's heart, and he had no choice but to take the responsibility.

_Not that I mind, really._

"Sakura…" Sasuke trailed off, noticing how she was looking at the picture in her hands. Sasuke blanched. What _did_ she even see in that Sai guy—?

"They say a picture's worth a thousand words, then how come I can only think of two when I look at yours…" Sakura sobbed, while Sasuke looked at her strangely.

_Did she just…Yeah, she just said the lyrics of Kiss It, Bye Bye._

Sasuke didn't know whether to puke or  
a) Burn that motherfucker alive  
b) make _him_ the Dickless one (+ vengeance for Naruto)  
c) all of the above

Knowing Sasuke and his vengeance tendencies, he was obviously going to be doing something that will break someone's balls.

No one breaks his best friend's heart and gets away with it.

What was it that people say?

"_Break my best friend's heart and I'll break your face."_ Sasuke thought that that was a little stupid. Faces could heal, and even if they couldn't, there was still the option of surgery.

He much preferred _"Break my best friend's heart and I'll break your balls."_

Yeah…

Much more morbid.

Out of nowhere, Sakura threw the picture frame across the room and started screaming expletives at the innocent little thing.

"FUCK YOU!"

Realization dawned Sasuke. ""They say a picture's worth a thousand words, then how come I can only think of two when I look at yours…" He muttered with a thoughtful expression etched on his handsome (hothothot) face. He looked dumbstruck, "Oh! The two words are—!"

"FUCK YOU!" Sakura interrupted, sobbing.

Someone was having a paroxysm, it seems.

Shaking away his irrelevant thoughts, Sasuke patted Sakura's back comfortingly. "You'll be fine," He huffed, not feeling quite comfortable with the situation.

Sakura looked at him with a pitiful face, before proceeding to soak his red Ralph-Lauren shirt—("Shit, Sakura! That's expensive!) —without a care in the world.

"Sasuke-kuuuunnnn," Sakura wailed, theatrically hitting him on the chest several times. Sasuke fought the urge to cry in pain.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay! Let's go get you some ice cream…"

Sakura's lips quivered, as she stared up at the Uchiha, before her eyes went downcast. "Why can't Sai be like you…?" She mumbled almost incoherently.

"…What?" Sasuke breathed out, his heart beating quicker than normal.

"Ano…" Sakura trailed off, looking embarrassed, "It's nothing—GO GET MY ICE CREAM ALREADY!"

Sasuke palmed his face. "Alright, alright!"

Standing up, he walked towards her bedroom door and gave her a reassuring small smile. "You'll be fine…I'm always here for you."

With that, he walked out to fetch her ice cream.

Sakura sat on her bed, shocked, before crying animatedly all over again.

* * *

When Sasuke came back with a whole tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a whole collection of various movies, he found that the girl was already asleep.

He sighed, but smiled nevertheless at the peaceful girl. "At least she stopped crying," He whispered softly, walking towards her bed with her demanded items.

Sasuke stared at her, his face relaxing. She was beautiful. Her bright pink hair, large emerald orbs, button nose…Her red lips—

Sasuke shook himself out of his reverie, muttering to himself for almost falling for it. Sakura was his friend—_best_ friend, in fact. She was off limits.

Sighing, he opened the tub of ice cream, grabbed the plastic spoon, and started digging into the tub and shoving the cold food in his mouth.

"Off limits, off limits, off limits, off limits…" Sasuke kept telling himself, in between nibbles.

Sakura groaned in annoyance, hitting him at the back of his head subconsciously, "Teme, shadddddaaaaaaaap." After drawling, she lifted her shirt up and scratched her abdomen rather violently. Sasuke looked away, embarrassed.

_Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God…_ Sasuke was fanboying inside his mind when her naval piercing was exposed. _Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God…_

By now, Sasuke was halfway done with the tub of ice cream, and yet he didn't seem to notice. He glanced down again at the Dream Catcher naval ring on her fair, _soft_ skin—

_How do I know it's soft—?_

"Wait, what?" Sasuke sputtered unintelligently, drooling some melted mint chocolate chip ice cream. He looked at where his hand was and snorted inelegantly.

Removing his hand from her stomach, he palmed his face countless times, as if trying to filter out his perverted thoughts.

_Bad thoughts, bad thoughts! _He muttered to himself, _Out, out, out! Think of good thoughts_—

Distracted, he looked at her now chapped lips.

_Good thoughts…_ He trailed off, staring at her dumbly as she licked her lips.

_Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God…_ Sasuke repeated over and over again, as she reached out to hug him around his waist. _Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God_—

"Ngh, Sasuke-kun…" She murmured, sniffling.

Sasuke was tongue-tied. "…Asdfghjkl."

_**Kiss her, Sasu-cakessss! **_Devil!Sasuke hissed in his left ear, wiggling his fingers in a rather perverted way, _**Do ihtttttt! Do ihhhtttttt!**_

_Sasuke, no!_Angel!Sasuke whispered softly in his right ear. _Save ihhhht till marriage! No, Sasukayyyy, no! Don't do ihhhtttt!_

Sasuke was stuck. Should he kiss her or…?

Sasuke shrugged. To hell with it! He won't be singing _I Should've Kissed You_ later on at the very least. "No regrets, Sasuke…Kiss her!"

With that said, he moved towards her face slowly, aiming for her lips.

When his lips touched hers, he felt his heart do tumbles like an acrobat. Even though he didn't fight the temptation (and listened to Devil!Sasuke), he could hear wedding bells ringing and angels singing _Hallelujah_.

But the only thought in his mind, when she suddenly opened her eyes in shock was,

_I'm going to hell._

Sasuke flushed, his lips still on hers. Obsidian orbs met emeralds. They stared at each other with dumb expressions on their faces.

When Sakura suddenly returned the kiss with fervor, Sasuke praised the deity up there for he was given a gift.

Breaking away from the kiss, they looked at each other with wide eyes, their chest heaving up and down vigorously.

"So…" Sakura said awkwardly, "What does this mean?"

Sasuke looked away, embarrassed. "I…Well…I_kindalikeyou_."

Sakura looked away with a flattered smile on her face. "Aw, Sasuke-kun…"

Sasuke slapped both of his reddening cheeks in an attempt to shoo the color away. It failed, obviously.

He looked up at her and gave her a questioning look. "…What about you…?" He asked quietly.

Sakura had a mischievous gleam in her green eyes. "Sasuke-kun, actions speak louder than words." Before Sasuke had the chance to ask what the heck she was talking about, she tackled him.

The two made out for quite a while after that.

That's one intense love…

Word.

* * *

**disclaimer:** no rights.  
**author:** you're beautiful.  
**notes: **...Why did I write this? Brb, dying. I would also appreciate some reviews! Yeah? Okay loveyaz.


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